John Keogh has been one of the most detailed (and simultaneously disturbing) webcomickers ever since the days of Lucid TV (which now exists only in the memories of those that followed the adventures in Jim Belushi Memorial Hospital). Every once in a while he pops up with an insanely detailed poster or album cover or tranche of comics. There is little warning when this happens; he just says Comics and there they are.

• In this case, on Twitter, with the first third of one damn hundred new comics. They’re all amazing, but I most enjoyed those titled Ultimate Hubris, Bread That Gets You High, Unbridled Male Sexuality, Uncle Boonmee Who Is Supposed To Be In Jail, West Coast Turnaround, Hungry Ghosts That Fear Iron Objects And Water, Kush Purp Strong Dro, Orange Julius Secret Menu Password = “Fucked Up Julius” Orange Julius Double Secret Menu Password = “Dark Julius … Strange, Painful Julius”¹, The Cult Of The Coiled Pepitone, Whose Hierophants Prowl With Impunity², and especially Slow Unemployed Loris.

  Take your time. Breathe them in. There’s a lot of artistic brilliance and more than a little messing-with-us going on here. And if he’s not messing with us to another degree, there’s another 67 comics on the way. You can ask him about them if you’ll be in Boston this weekend, as he’ll be tabling at the Feminist Zine Fest with Hey, Pais creator (and Make That Thing asskicker at large) Sara McHenry. Sara’s great, John’s great, you’ll have a great time.

• Speaking of having a great time, on the first of May [audio, video], the new Oh Joy, Sex Toy book — one with purely educational comics — goes up on Kickstarter. You’ll want to look it up and back it; I’d remind you on the day, but I’ll be at Comics Camp, as will OJST co-creator Erika Moen; you’d be doing me a solid if, when she got off the plane home and checked her phone, she saw that thing cruising to full funding with extra to spare.

  Other OJST co-creator Matthew Nolan will be working his brains to the bone³ to get the book and crowdfunding campaign ready for launch, and it would be great for him to meet his wife at the airport with the news that OJST Book 4 is running away with success. Do it for the children.

Spam of the day:

Factor clearly utilized..

What kind of factor? What kind of utilization?
Ohhhhh, boner pills. Gotcha.

_______________
¹ With bonus points for the New Yorker universal caption.

² With callback to Orange Julius Secret Menu Password = “Fucked Up Julius” Orange Julius Double Secret Menu Password = “Dark Julius … Strange, Painful Julius”.

³ Heh, “bone”.

This was going to be a post about the megathread that David Malki ! did on Twitter end of last week, about the benefits of incorporation for self-employed types come tax time. Of course, end of last week was too late for anybody to get in on the tax benefits for this year’s filings, but see the title.

Then he went and turned the 70-plus tweets into a nice writeup, and that was even better. Planning for next year, get on that now I was going to say. Don’t let I’m so sick of taxes, I’ll do it in a couple of months tendencies keep you from getting this done. Make it a to-do item for May! But about three hours ago something bigger popped up. Suitably enough, it also deals with looking at the long term.

Lagies and jenglefenz, allow me to introduce you to Ascend Comics.

Ascend is a new publishing company, courtesy of Der-shing Helmer and Taneka Stotts, dedicated to the proposition that comics are created by all sorts of people, and if you don’t look like the folks that have traditionally been published by the comics world, that doesn’t mean you aren’t making some damn good comics. Not getting where you know you could be? Well, if there’s one thing that Spike Trotman taught us, it’s that you can build a publishing company up into a force of nature if you commit to bringing new voices and new kinds of stories to print. Also, that if you Kickstart anthologies, you can find those voices before anybody else snaps them up.

Ascend is starting off with an impressive bench, too: the Elements anthology (for stories by POC creators, edited by Stotts), The Meek and Mare Internum (webcomics by Helmer), and the Alloy anthology (for stories by mixed-race creators, edited by Helmer and Kiku Hughes, with an assist by Stotts).

At the heart of it, though, is the mutual respect and hard work of Helmer and Stotts; read their respective launch announcements and tell me they aren’t both going to work as hard for each other (and whoever else comes along for the ride), and that’s where the planning comes in.

Ascend is brand new; right now, it’s a platform for two creators and their works, but look at the mission statement right there in their logotype:

Iron Circus started as a way for Spike to make her comics projects, and then here and there she picked up a story for reprint, or an original, or the first of a series. With anthologies under their belts, Stotts and Helmer will have a roster of creators whose works (and work habits) they know; give ’em enough time to find their feet, give them one or two projects to show what they can do in this new structure, and I’ll bet you Five Dollars American Cash Money that they start following the path that Iron Circus blazed¹. Got a story that you think would be a good fit for Ascend? I’m gonna say start polishing your craft now so you’re ready when they make the inevitable announcement down the line.

Better yet, since Iron Circus has shown that distribution works for independent creators and publishers, Ascend will find it a less onerous process to get to that point themselves. It’ll be even easier for the next company after (and so on, until somebody screws the pooch very badly and the business of comics community gets cautious again; that won’t be Ascend, it’ll be somebody with less time in the game and fewer hard-won skills). So if you’re at a slightly differently inclined, or have done the work that Spike, Stotts, and Helmer have done, start planning for what your company is going to look like, and decide what’s going to set you apart from those that are already there.

But above all, start planning. Whatever move you’re going to make — tax wise, working with a publisher, becoming a publisher, whatever — it’s not going to just all in your lap. Want it to work to your favor? Figure out how to get there from where you are now. Fortune favors the bold rather less than it favors the well-prepared.

Spam of the day:

Jenny — Satisfy her like never before (no body)

Oh man, the disembodied, uploaded computer consciousnesses are getting in on the pornspam game. I got this one five times in the past eighteen hours.

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¹ I see them as running parallel paths rather than competitors. It’s gonna be a bunch more indie publishing concerns seeking out new creators and stories before they start getting in each other’s way and threatening each other’s lunch.

Friday. Friday! And one where it appears Spring may finally be here, no take-backs, at long last, and you know what that means. Mailbag roundup!

• Jim Zub, I’m of the opinion, can write any kind of comic story he sets his mind to. We’re nearing the wrap-up of the big, months-long, weekly Avengers story he co-wrote, and that means it’s time to build up excitement for his next project. Not satisfied with taking on a major IP, not satisfied with partnering with well-known, best-seller co-authors, he’s decided the appropriate challenge is to meld together two major IPs and partner up with a world-renowned author:
  

  Pat Rothfuss (New York Times Best-Selling author of The Kingkiller Chronicles), Troy Little (multiple Eisner-nominated cartoonist), and [Zub] are unleashing a love letter to gaming glory and nihilistic dimension hopping with RICK AND MORTY VS DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, a 4-issue mini-series launching in August.

  Dear glob, that’s more nerderies in one spot than I can count and they’re launching it at GenCon. Normally in these situations, you’d be able to tell which author was taking which part of the story; Zub’s the big D&D comics author, but Rothfuss is famous for sword&sorcery work as well, so they’ve both got that part covered. Then again, Zub’s hilarious, and so is Rothfuss, so there’s no clear delineation. Honestly, the only thing that surprised me is that Sam Sykes and Chuck Wendig aren’t in on this thing.

• Ryan Estrada’s gotten some traction out of his account calling out bad attempts to screw artists, For Exposure, and by traction I mean abusive emails and death threats from people who are mad about being called out, even though he never reveals their names. Of course, he’s got the love and gratitude of the creative community for calling out this crap, so that’s good. And now he’s got a wider audience than a couple days ago, because the BBC decided to send him some love:
  

  Creative industries are already cutthroat and budding artists often leap at the chance to get their work in front of as many people as possible.

  “I was very confused as a young artist,” [Estrada] says. “I had all of these people telling me that they were just small companies, so they couldn’t afford to pay me, but could offer me exposure so that big companies would want to hire me.”

  Many told him that he was lucky to be getting the opportunity at all.

  “I realized that I had to be my own advocate for my work, and figure out a way to make a living.”

  The Twitter account struck a chord with creatives around the world. Since he opened the account five years ago, it has grown to over 167,000 followers.

  Even better, Format Magazine contacted Estrada about his ongoing project (five years and counting), and they commissioned Emmie Tsumura, to do imaginary portraits of some of the most egregious time-and-art leeches. She produced a gallery collection last year. Heck if I remember seeing anything about it. But the BBC noticed it, and now we all get to enjoy. Even better, this means that an artist got paid for something that arose out of For Exposure. First time for everything.

Okay, almost the weekend. Enjoy the heck out of it.

Spam of the day:
But I have big titties and fuck the shit out of you. try me
I’m trying to figure out which missing word(s) will make that whole offer a little less creepy. Not succeeding.

It’s always nice to see new stuff from people. Nice, I tell you!

• One of the nicest, happiest, sunniest bodies of work in all of webcomics is that of Scott C — everything he does has smiles. It doesn’t matter how dark the subject, it turns into a visit to the Mr Rogers version in his hands.

  He’s been busy with various projects of late, but he’s back with a new Great Showdown and a goal of updates twice a week. Match it up with a new general website and it’s a banner day for Scott C fans.

• Know who’s always trying something new? Spike. We know her pattern by now — find the best comics creators — sexytimes, themed anthologies, specific books deserving wide-distro reprint — and Kickstart ’em until they glow. It works, every damn time. No need to stir things up.

  Except not stirring things up is boring, and Spike doesn’t do boring.

  The next Iron Circus book will not be comics, but an art collection. It’s an English-language debut by a Japanese illustrator with a body of work that hits a particular niche hard (which will delight some and cause others to shy away), an unusually high KS goal (US$40,000), and a mere fifteen days to raise it. We’re closing in on 12 days left and it’s raised 47%, and I have no idea how to evaluate this one on the usual math.

  There’s maybe enough backers for the FFF mk2 to come in¹, but I’ve never used the math on so short a campaign; I’m not sure the McDonald Ratio would work on something so brief², either. If the Fleen Funding Formula (Mark II) holds true, the 24-30 hour mark trend value of about US$125K gives a prediction of US$25K – 37.5K, which is below goal. But 47%+ in not quite three days would give a prediction closer to US$56K, comfortably over goal. I suspect that we’ve found a new boundary on when the FFF mk2 can be reliably used.

  So let’s say that if you like psychosexual³ visuals that have never been seen before in North America, now’s your time to get in on that. And if this doesn’t make goal (something about those words doesn’t make sense), we might discover Iron Circus trying something new again — because something tells me Spike isn’t going to let this book not be published, even if she has to front the money herself.

Spam of the day:

Sexually Explicit: gary tyrrell, Congrats, You’ve been approved – 84 new girls available jnjoh

Man, I must be really out of date with my sexually explicit habits and such. I don’t think I’ve ever jnjoh with even one girl, much less 84. I’m lame.

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¹ Emphasis on maybe; there’s an odd bump upwards on day 2 (probably because it launched late at night and day one was only a few hours long).

² Kel McDonald’s own campaigns tend to the 45-60 duration.

³ Or possibly “disturbing”; potayto, potahto.

Readers may recall that I had some very good things to say about the Hope Larson (words) and Rebecca Mock (pictures) collaboration known as Four Points (book one: Compass South; book two: Knife’s Edge). If by chance you don’t recall, there’s the reviews. Them’s good readin’.

And it may take until 2020 or so, but it appears that Mock and Larson will be throwing us more graphic novel goodness:

I’m excited to share what I’m currently working on — a new (untitled) fantasy-historical graphic novel written by @hopelarson!! Here is the main character, Vonceil, and her older brother Elber. stay tuned for more sneak peaks ;)

Oh man, this looks delightful. I am getting a simultaneous Miyazaki and BONE vibe from these character designs, and I cannot wait to learn more about them, and everybody else that will inhabit the book.

When I spoke to Larson at SDCC 2016, she mentioned that she had work commitments blocked out for every year until 2020, with about one year’s slack time in the middle; I’m not sure if this was part of the plan, or a new pitch that came together and Mock was both available and a valued creative partner, and it occurs to me that I don’t care.

The first thing I did upon getting home from seeing A Wrinkle In Time a couple of weeks ago was to pull Larson’s adaptation off the shelf and re-read her take on the story. She’s one of my favorites for a reason, her various stories are distinct and yet clearly hers, and she knows how to write to her artist’s strengths.

For her part, Mock started off strong and got better through the length of Four Points, and these designs look even more developed, the people depicted more lived-in than even the best of Knife’s Edge. She’s a Featured Guest this weekend at MoCCA Fest for a reason, and I urge you to join me in dropping by her table (G240) to talk about her work. If you can’t make it to Manhattan, she’ll be talking about process on the book in her Patreon.

Spam of the day:

Place to Meet Craigslist Personals

Seriously? You’re sending this literally days after Craigslist shut down their entire personals section because the unforgivably evil FOSTA/SESTA legislation made it through Congress and got signed into law? I am deeply disappointed with all the members of my Congressional delegation, but must admit that it’s very hard to be seen voting against what purports to be a measure to fight sex trafficking. You’d have better luck voting against the Free Money And Puppies For All Americans Act.

There were some pretty nifty Kickstarts that launched yesterday or the day before, and since new ones keep cropping up I figured it’s time to do a roundup. Let’s get started.

• Alexis Sugden does comics that are widely varied; I first noticed her name at The Nib as the illustrator of a story about gastric reduction surgery. After I looked up her name, I recognized a previous story at The Nib about gender and body image, It’s All For The Breast. What I hadn’t twigged on was that was a greatly condensed version of a story that she’s been telling weekly since 2016.

  And now she’s going to put it all into a single print volume, which requires the absolute lowest Kickstarter goal I’ve ever seen: CA$950, or US$736. Remarkably (because this is a hell of interesting project, and the book is more than 100 pages, for the low, low price of CA$15 (unsketched) or CA$20 (sketched)¹), it’s not quite hit goal in the first 50 or so hours, but it’s about to.

  This looks like one of the most interesting autobio comics you’re going to read this year, so take a look at the sample pages at the project page — just the page with Bowie forcing Young Alexis to reconsider notions of gender is worth the price of admission by itself.

• The annual Retrofit Comics Kicker has arrived, and with it the opportunity to support twelve new graphic novels. There’s something there for everybody, from 64 page books to more than 200 pages; some are B&W, some full color, some limited; pracerange from US$8 to $25, with plenty of tiers that include these 12 books, plus extensive collections from the Retrofit backlist.
• David “Damn You,” Willis has set up the campaign for the seventh (!) Dumbing Of Age collection, which is essentially the most foolproof thing you can ever back on Kickstarter. He announces the Kicker and the stretch goals, his fans back the Kicker and stretch goals, he produces the books and stretch goals, people get the books and stretch goals. You can set your watch (or at least your calendar) by it.
• Not a Kickstarter but Heidi Mac at The Beat — she always seems to get this story first, year after year — reports that the Center for Cartoon Studies and Slate have announced the winners of this year’s Cartoonist Studio Prize. For reference, the nominees were announced about a month ago, and the winners are Keren Katz for print comics, and Michael DeForge for webcomics.

  In addition to the honor of recognition, Katz and DeForge each get a cool thousand bucks American cash money, which is the only thing better than a six hundo.

Spam of the day:

Unfortunately, I hadn’t experience of technological background, that’s when I thought of my close friend Sasha Petrichenko who is currently working as a software developer and engineer for NASA space exploration.

Just because your dude works for NASA doesn’t mean he knows squat about investing strategies. Trust me, I know people at NASA, and you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to be a rocket scientist.

_______________
¹ US$11.62 or US$15.50, respectively, at Kickstarter’s exchange rate.

We are going to talk about some cool things today, but could anything be cooler than watching Bill Freakin’ Watterson return to the Sunday comics page, even just for one day? We’ve seen him draw in the slightly recent past with the poster for STRIPPED, but to see Calvin again, to see Watterson dinosaurs again, to see something even better than the legendary Tyrannosaurus Rexes in F-14s¹ ², and to see him playing with Opus the gosh-danged penguin.

With a Trump joke.

Look, if it turns out that Breathed just got Watterson to okay the use of Calvin, but that he didn’t draw the lil’ guy again, don’t tell me. Breathed’s done C&H references for a couple of April Foolses now, but the earlier ones didn’t have that spark, that hint of Wattersonian goodness. We all need to find joy where we can.

• Speaking of finding joy, please enjoy Pénélope Bagieu on the effect of a participation trophy that she didn’t know was a participation trophy, leading to a lifetime of assuming she could do stuff. Which means, naturally, that she can.

  The Teddy Bear Effect is a pure delight. Go read it in anticipation of meeting Ms Bagieu at MoCCA this weekend and telling her how hard she rocks³.

• On any other day, this photo would be up top, but you know how it goes. Just a few books that have shown up here at the Fleenplex — Lucy Bellwood’s 100 Demon Dialogues is a delight through and through, and I’ll have to work up proper reviews for the tenth (!) book in The Olympians by George O’Connor (I say this every time, but this one’s my new favorite) and the first graphic novel from Vera Brosgol since Anya’s Ghost (thanks to :01 Books for the latter two books).

  Suffice it to say that I’ll be carting Brosgol’s and Bellwood’s books (I, uh, got five copies of 100DD so I could give ’em away to people that need them) out to Juneau and Comics Camp later this month, so I can get them signed. I’ll be coming home with more copies of Be Prepared as well, as I’ve got nieces who will love it and they can’t have my copy, it’s mine.

  But what’s the large book taking up all the space? Oh, nothing, just the first college text ever to talk about the entire history of illustration from cave paintings to Cintiqs. Years ago, the lead editor went looking for somebody to write 500 words on webcomics and Scott McCloud sent her my way.

  It was remarkably hard to get down that far, not lose sight of what a big topic was being addressed, and still sound like me (special thanks to KB Spangler, who smacked me upside the head about the latter point; that’s why she’s an excellent editor and you should hire her). But there it is, years later. My essay got split up and folded into a series of digital illustration topics, and my name might have gotten left off the contributor’s list, but it’s totally in the errata and will be in the next edition!

  Look, like I said above, we need to find joy, etc, and I personally look forward to a job interview in the unspecified future and some tech recruiter asks about the line on my CV that says I contributed to History Of Illustration. This is completely a thing and I’m taking joy from it.

Spam of the day:

Is Your Husband Getting Calls Day and Night?

No?

_______________
¹ Leading to an excitable kid to exclaim This is so cool and a jaded tiger to mutter This is so stupid.

² None of which, as far as I know, were T-Rex, in that they didn’t appear to be shouting Frig! Frig! I don’t know how to fly! Friiiiiiiig!

³ Correct answer: So hard.

It’s the happiest day of the year for a numbers nerd like me who is fond of being proved right. Start, if you will by taking a look at something we talked about last year, and in years before that. Those posts refer to the annual numbers that Brian Hibbs (hero LCS owner) compiles for Heidi Mac at The Beat on what graphic novels sell according to Bookscan’s numbers. Data, baby!

Obligatory reminder: Bookscan doesn’t reach into comic shops, libraries, or book fairs. That’ll be important later, as we remind ourselves of something else:

Raina Telgemeier remains the most important person in comics.

In calendar year 2017, when she did not have a new book, she sold (and this doesn’t count libraries, or comics shops, or school book fairs) at least US$11.6 million dollars worth of graphic novels, at least 487,000 copies of her original graphic novels, at least one million books when you include her Baby Sitters Club efforts.

Want to see something more impressive? I’m going to look at Sisters, because I kept numbers for 2014, and 2016 from those earlier posts. In 2014, when Sisters was new, she sold 176,197 copies (in four months, because it wasn’t released until the end of August). In 2016, when it was two years old, she sold 166,124 copies. In 2017, three years old, she sold 147,889 copies. That’s scarcely any taper off! Comics shop owners will tell you the drop from issue #1 of a series to issue #2 is minimum 40%. Over three years later, she’s selling fully 84% as much as when it was new!

Let’s look at the other numbers for her original work, 2014, 2016, 2017:

• Smile: 150K, 188K, 160K
• Drama: 94K, 213K, 178K
• Ghosts: (not released), 213K (four months only), 180K

I like that bump in Drama; new book means new readers who are discovering her older work. And should I mention that Smile was released in 2010? These books are never going to go out of print. Never.

This is why she broke the New York Times Best Seller List so hard that they stopped reporting on graphic novels rather than just rename it for her. This is why every neckbeard that whines about “diversity” ruining comics doesn’t know shit. Comics purchases are dominated by younger readers, all-ages topics, bound books. The first floppy comic book that shows up on the list for 2017 is Saga (which is great, mind you), and it sold … 45K. It’s in 29th place on the list¹.

It’s basically a rounding error in Raina’s sales because guess where Saga isn’t selling? The Scholastic book fairs held in elementary schools across the country. Guess where book fair coordinators are ordering Raina’s books by the case. And guess what’s not included in the Bookscan numbers.

This is why she owns six of the top twenty slots by dollar total. It’s why she owns eight of the top twenty slots by copies sold. It’s why the entire top twenty list is dominated by women, and why other top twenty books are Raina-alike stories (which is to say, following the same growing up travails stories that she pioneered in the GN space).

And this is why I whould like to humbly remind Raina that when she bestrides the worlds of comics publishing, YA publishing, and whatever the hell else she feels like bestriding, that some of us were behind her from the very beginning and would serve well in her new, benevolent regime.

All hail.

Spam of the day:

You probably don’t remember me, but I know you and have something to show you.

Somebody I don’t remember wants to give me secret information worth US$250,000! Is it because I’ve got an inside track on the new regime? I bet that’s why.

_______________
¹ And this is great: the anti-diversity CHUDs are very fond of claiming that Marvel’s sales are down because too many of their books feature characters that aren’t straight, white, manly mens, and first Marvel title on the list is Ta-Nehisi Coates’s Black Panther, the first three volumes of which add up to a total of 55K copies sold. It’s a triple shot of schadenfreude — superheroes don’t sell, the best seller is as far from what the CHUDs want as you can get, and the numbers are from before the movie released and will only be higher next year.

Here are your instructions:

• Go to this link.
• Give Molly Ostertag five dollars American cash money. Or more! You can give more. If you are, by chance, in a place where you cannot give Molly Ostertag five dollars American cash money at the moment, the first page (they’re tall pages) of what you’re going to give her five dollars American cash money for is available as a preview at Ostertag’s twitterfeed.
• Download How The Best Hunter In The Village Met Her Death and read it.
• Set it aside for a short while, then read it again.
• Pull Ostertag’s masterful graphic novel, The Witch Boy, off your shelf¹ and give it a read, thinking about it and about How The Best Hunter In The Village Met Her Death. In fact, go read How The Best Hunter In The Village Met Her Death again. Think about it some more; I’ve been doing quite a lot of thinking about it today.
• Thank Molly Ostertag, because she’s shared a piece of entirely wonderful art with you.

Spam of the day:

The super soft ribbed silicone gently scrubs away mud and dirt leaving your pets feet nice and clean! Cleaning the cup is a breeze. Just pour out the dirty water and rinse out the cup.

I’m gonna say that this cleaning device for muddy pet paws is actually pretty clever. I’m also going to say that it looks like something Matthew Nolan might have reviewed.

_______________
¹ You have a copy, right. If not, fix that immediately.

It does, however, seem that my desire to prevent another work-related disaster is chewing up all of my spare breathing time getting sucked into meetings (bloody meetings!) while you endlessly talk back and forth, hoping to run out the clock and make it my problem again.

• Which is to say, you’re also depriving me of the time needed to talk about my beloved webcomics, including the Kickstart put up by the too-awesome-for-words Tony Breed for the next Muddler’s Beat collection, Have Fun, Leave Me Out Of It¹.

  Then again, there’s not much that needs saying; Tony’s awesome, his comic is awesome, he’s working with Make That Thing (who are jointly and severally awesome), and this is as close to a no-brainer as you can get in crowdfunding. The campaign is running a paltry fifteen days, it’s hit 46% funding (of the extraordinarily modest US$4500 goal) about a day in, and you’ll have your book by the end of June.

  Like, this June. Partly this is because Breed, et al, are awesome (see above), and partially because he’s had time to get everything just so; Muddler’s Beat has been on a retooling hiatus, and will return in minicomic form (leaving behind the daily strip format) in April. Not doing a daily strip is an excellent way to free up the time to get everything set on a book.

• And since we are here, may I point out that the Kickstart for BACK Book 2 has two and a half days and 15% to go? You’re making me nervous, people. KC Green and Anthony Clark are two of the finest cartooning minds on the planet, and the thought that their collaboration is getting down to the wire is inconceivable.

  Also, it was written in the before times that if ever Green or Clark is thwarted, they’ll turn into monstrous elder gods (in Clark’s case, adorably wizard shaped) and consume (in no particular order) the sun, the Earth, and your soul. So you might want to get on that.

Spam of the day:

Fastolfe, as he did so. Superior Singing Doodle Video ­ Clickbank — Superior Singing Method can dreamer, we’ll Grab Your FREE Copy of My Most Effective, Time-Efficient Fat-Loss Workout Here.

Robbie Coltrane is my favorite Falstaff, or Falstofe, if you will.

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¹ Breed comes up with the best titles; case in point: his last collection was titled Literally Everything Is Outside My Comfort Zone.