I wasn’t really going to talk about this new comic strip contest that Amazon’s got going — for one thing, it’s really nothing to do with webcomics. Quick retweet of Meredith Gran‘s dismay that the thing exists at all, and I’d be done.

But then Gordon McAlpin tweeted to me that he felt the terms were actually pretty fair, and I took a good close look at them. You can read our back-and-forth starting here, which is stilted because Twitter isn’t really suited to any kind of in-depth discussion. My reading of McAlpin’s main point is that the contest’s real prize is the syndication contract, which is negotiable (you can read the rules and such for yourself here; pay special attention to section 8).

My main point is: So what? The other contracts are marked prominently with the boilerplate:

____ contract with ____ is not negotiable, and Grand Prize Winner must sign “as is” upon receipt of the executable contract as described in Section 9 below if he/she wishes to enter into the _____ contract being awarded.

In any event, I’m not so certain that the development/syndication contracts are really worth all that much — webcomickers who had been under such contracts have found it to their advantage to get out of them and work on their own. Likewise, I’ll bet that any of the webcomickers that have signed book deals in the past couple years have managed terms a hell of a lot better than what’s on offer here: $5000 against royalties at a rate that’s non-negotiable and non-disclosed.

McAlpin also feels that the stature of the judges means that the winner has accomplished something prestigious even if they don’t choose to agree to the contracts — although I believe that all of the cartoonist judges print their books through contest co-sponsor Andrews & McMeel, and I believe they’re all syndicated through co-sponsor Universal Press Syndicate (they are, after all, one company); as such, those cartoonists have their own obligations to their publisher/syndicate, and judging this contest may be less about their wanting to find very talented new colleagues, and more about living up to their contract terms.

Put another way — with newspapers dying and comics pages shrinking, does any cartoonist that’s established really want to find the amazing new talent that may steal pagespace?

An analogy, if you will: I’m a big fan of Project Runway, but it’s a polite fiction that the show is trying to find the next great fashion designer. They’re interested in finding people that can do work that’s just interesting enough on short time, with little budget, and hopefully some drama. In 20 years, none of the Runway winners will be spoken of as being as important or influential as regular judge Michael Kors (nor is it in his interest for them to!), and I think the same thing will be true of the winners of this contest.

(Side note about that just interesting enough line: the deadline for the contest is less than a month after it was announced, and entrants have to put up 10 dailys, 2 Sundays, and a story hook description in that time — work that’s never appeared anywhere before. Unless you know of cartoonists that have fully-developed strip concepts ready to go, I think we’re going to see a lot of stuff that’s pretty embryonic.)

Naturally, it is given to none of us to see the future, but I honestly think that the winner will get a blip of publicity for a news cycle and then disappear. I hope that I’m wrong and McAlpin is right; I hope that they do find the next great comic strip artist, but I’m confident enough in my pessimism that I’ll bet Gordon McAlpin $20 that at the conclusion of the development period (up to two years) plus another three years for the strip to get settled, that fewer people will have heard of it and read it than, say, the new micro-strip that Rich Stevens launched yesterday.

(Reached for commentary, Stevens noted I have wanted a phone-friendly comic since the 90s, and In retrospect, I think this is the comic Ted [Rall, Stevens’ editor during his syndication foray] should have hired me to do. Subtext that I choose to read: Want to do a comic strip? Go do it.)

Also, acknowledgement must be paid to Brad Guigar, who did a far more thorough analysis of the contest rules than I have. In particular, there’s this tidbit Guigar noticed that speaks to McAlpin’s hope that the ability to not sign gives the winner some leverage:

At the finalist level, you are required to sign the contracts for A-McM and U-Uclick that will go into effect if you’re the Grand Prize winner. … If you don’t sign the contracts at the Finalist level, you can’t progress in the contest.

So I guess you have to pre-waive your ability to not sign in order to be in a position to sign? I completely missed that little turn of logic, but that’s why it’s Brad that will be featured on Fox Business tonight in the 5:00pm (EDT, GMT-4) block, barring any breaking news, and not me. He’s smart and telegenic.

The computer I use during the day is out of commission for now — posts may go up late or sporadically until the problem is resolved, as posting anything longer than this from my phone is a pain. I got lots to talk about, too.

Ever since I wrote that title, webcomics things just keep popping up that match it. As the old saying goes, Things are going to change.

• Naturally, of course, that little tidbit of The Child brings us to the end of Scary Go Round (as we know it), now announced for 11 September, with the new strip (not yet known at all, but at the same address) to begin the following Monday. Be sure to ask John Allison all about the final disposition of characters and storyline, and he may post your question with an answer if it is one of the best ones. If it’s not, you can always ask him when you see him at SPX.
• It is also the end, as we know it, for Sinister Bedfellows, as creator mckenzee simultaneously scares the bejabbers out of small children and announces the start of his new project on 1 January: Bearcats of Mandhu, which he described to this page at SPX ’07 as an exploration of the recent travails of Nepal and the Nepalese royal family, depicted as furries.
• It’s the start of the Couscous Collective store, with its first original offering being something you probably want: Skin Horse, Book 1. Not convinced? Check out this argument:
  

  “Now you can live anywhere and get copies of Couscous goodies,” says Pancha Diaz, cartoonist and group webmaster. “Geography will no longer thwart us.”

  Not enough webcomickers think in terms of thwarting! Thwartage of all types must itself (ironically enough) be thwarted! I just like saying the word “thwart”! Thwart, thwart, thwart, thwart, thwart, thwart!

• Via Scott Kurtz, notice of a new endeavour at Webcomics-dot-com — the start of an ongoing series of video lessons:
  

  [W]e’re starting a brand new live stream called Webcomics.com University.

  Our hope with Webcomics University is to feature in depth lectures from comic pros, bringing you their favorite tips, tricks, techniques, and thoughts on making Webcomics.

  I’ll be starting things off with our inagural episode, this Friday at 9pm central time. The show will be broadcast over my Ustream.tv channel. Bookmark my page or watch right here at PvPonline.com or Webcomics.com Friday night.

  I have long wanted to do something similar here at Fleen in written form, but as you may have noticed in the past, I am a lazy, lazy man.

• Finally, two stories that I’m sitting on at the moment; as soon as news of them breaks you’ll get more information on them. But hints? Keep your eye on Rich Stevens’ Twitter, and those of you that get Fox Business on your cable lineups, a familiar face may be appearing there in the next day or two (subject to more important things happening, naturally). And no, it’s not me, it’s somebody you’d actually want to hear from.

But many things to report on today. Please, enjoy.

• I attended the New Jersey Webcomic Chaos meetup on Saturday, where I got the skinny on the debut book from Glass Urchin creator Auilix; the cover looks great, it’ll be 150 pages (!) in manga digest trim size, and it’ll debut at SPX at what appears to be a very reasonable price point. Be sure to check it out if you make it to Bethesda next month. Side note about the NJWC deal: it appears now to be empirically true that at no time can more than two webcomickers congregate over beverages, but that the conversation will at some point turn to Brad Guigar. He is the glue that binds us together.
• Also over the weekend, news of Team Raina and Dave runninng a workshop at a book camp sponsored by the world-famous Symphony Space. The lucky campers were the first to see the galleys of Raina’s SMILE, making me extremely envious of a bunch of ‘tweens on account of I won’t get to read it for nearly six months.
• Just this morning came word that Commissioner James Gordon is goin’ to the semifinals for the Cutest Dog Competition. Well done, webcomic-loving masses, that’s $500 towards the wedding of Gordon’s people, Chris and Carly; now hang on while the remaining 10 semifinalists get worked out, and we’ll be sure to let you know when to vote Gordon to the finals (only four of twelve dogs will make it to the final round, and the $1,000,000 grand prize waiting the winner). The level of competition will be fierce, and we’ll need all of us working together to do our parts.
• Wanna see something interesting? Check out Google‘s new Labs feature, Google Squared. Now punch in the term webcomics. I’d love to see the algorithms to see how these particular items came to be reported.

So many people bragging these days about getting to Inbox: Zero, I decided to follow their example and pull up some Fleenmail, and you get to share in the results.

• Getting to 500 strips is harder when you do ’em one week at a time, thus Bryant Paul Johnson’s Teaching Baby Paranoia took better than nine years to reach that mark. Let’s get all mailbaggy:
  

  The long-running strip, which debuted in January of 2000, is a mélange of historical fiction and pseudo-academic nonsense, drawn in a classically cartoony style, and annotated with footnotes of dubious accuracy.

  The 500th strip, titled “The Henderson Gospel” is both an artistic and structural departure from the norm.

  [said Johnson] “It was important to me to make this a special event. I’m planning on retiring the strip on its 10th anniversary.”

  That gives you just enough time to catch up on the archive prior to the wrap-up in the new year.

• Man, I’d heard that Germans were into the weird stuff, but I didn’t expect this:
  

  The free cartoon and comic community toonsUp opens the Miss Alien 2009 at the Berlin c-base (Rungestrasse 20) on September 18 at 7:00 pm.

  The exhibition will show the works of over 50 comic artists who have participated in a fictional intergalactic Miss Election and will be open until September 24.

  An email to made@toonsUp.com is required to gain free admission.

  So … yeah. If you’re the type that said, Hey, me too when Space Lilith said I always wanted to make love to an alien to Commander Riker, and you’re in Berlin, go check out the show.

• From Samantha Wikan, a short piece on possible cultural reasons for the big eyes-small nose-peanut mouth style present in manga. The underlying assertion seems a little “sketchy” to me. Oh man, a few more of these and I’ll be flinging puns like the masters! (No, no I won’t. I’m very sorry)
• Linell Harris wrote:
  

  Looking for some feedback http://linell85.deviantart.com/art/Unlucky-Chucky-9-133032584

  That’s the entire text of the email folks — not even a full sentence. So, brevity? I can do that:

  After a full minute, only the yellow box at the top had loaded. The typeface is ugly and had some artifacts around the letters as if the flood-fill didn’t quite work. Didn’t see the rest of it.

Not quite down to zero, but gotta keep something in the slush file for slow days. Have a good weekend, y’all.

If you said Me, me!, you’re in luck.

• It’s about a year since the very sexy Rich Stevens finished up the first pass of giving away his archive instead of making you pay him for books. As he’s built up another 200 strips, the 11th volume of the Comprehensive ‘Sweeties PDF Giveaway Exstravaganza is now live, thanks to some mirrors from some familiar webcomics stalwarts. And, as usual:
  

  Feel free to download, share, Torrent and/or archive to your heart’s content. Everything’s under a non-commercial Creative Commons license. As the holder of copyright on this material, I grant you permission to freely distribute it non-commercially. Don’t sell DS and no one will ever sue you for uploading it. Please maintain attribution to R Stevens and link back to this site. [emphasis original]

• Is there anybody in webcomicdom that’s more universally beloved than Ryan North? I sincerely hope not, because The Toronto Man-Mountain will likely crush them beneath his mighty tread, for yea he is a jealous titan. Okay, not really, but check out this totally sweet interview with the man (-mountain) himself over at CBR.
• Garden State webcomickers, remember that Saturday is the third such of the month, and thusly the New Jersey Webcomics Chaos meetup will take place from 2:00 to 6:00 pm … the deets (as the kids say) are here, and this month’s all-new venue is easily accessible by rail.
• Multimedia: everybody’s doing it these days, and to that group one may now add Adam York Gregory:
  

  I’ve started releasing the animated versions of my comic, The Flowfield Unity. You can see the first one here. They are micro-animations, all under 1 minute in length. I’m planning on releasing one every week, based on the existing strips and I’m taking requests too.

  Sometimes, all you need is a quick giggle. Check ’em out.

  PS: if you read the earlier piece where I lamented that Zach Weiner’s SMBC Theater didn’t have Ultimate Staring Contest online yet — it’s now online, as is a tribute to moustachery. It’s like living inside my brains, you guys.

As I have mentioned before, there are some webcomics that I read in big chunks rather than update-to-update (and some I probably should), because it makes it easier to follow big storylines. To that list of webcomics where I’ve felt compelled, we can now add one where I didn’t find it necessary, but where the creator believes it will lend itself to a better process and better stories: Octopie is going chunky:

[C]onstant deadlines, while good for productivity, also tend to limit the sort of stories and pictures I’d like to create. As a young artist, I realize there’s a long road of personal growth and improvement I’ve yet to travel. When my creative process becomes too comfortable, I believe it’s in my best interest to be challenged.

So, starting with the next storyline, Octopus Pie is going to start updating in larger, story-based chunks. Which means, depending on the length of the story, the comic will update every couple of weeks, or every month or so, with a brand new, multi-page chapter.

Given that some of Meredith Gran’s chapters aren’t merely multi–page, but rather dozens-of-pages epics, I can’t wait to see what reading full chapters will be like (stray thought — I wonder if more chapter-oriented creation will suit her new book deal). I’ll miss my MWF routine, but like the title says, it’s easy to keep up on notifications these days. We at Fleen will observe this next phase of Gran’s career with great interest.

• Speaking of change, John Allison dropped this bit of bloggination on us:
  

  I’m in the process of writing the last seven Scary Go Rounds […] It’s seven and a half years of my life, almost a quarter!

  Even though a few characters from old times will be carried over to the new comic in one form or another, I still feel like I did when I was leaving school.

  Any guesses which characters carry over to the (as yet unnamed) new comic? I’m hoping for Amy, Esther, Carrot, and Hugo.

• This has been covered before, but I’ll mention it again since there’s always new creators in webcomics and new readers here; from Chris Bolton:
  

  Just wondering how we might go about getting SMASH included in your “A Good Start” blogroll.

  The blogroll is a creation of whimsy, caprice, and randomness, but the surest way to its heart is to do a webcomic so dang good that any one of we at Fleen find it on our regular trawl list. Or be something that somebody who used to be part of Fleen really liked and then they left and I’m too lazy to update it.

And since the title harkens back to yesterday’s bit of brainlessness, how about we do some followups today?

• For starters, the Dallas Webcomics Expo is a bit less mysterious than it was, thanks to some timely info from Thomas Overbeck:
  

  [T]he Dallas Webcomics Expo, is a one-day convention event centering around the webcomics world. Our inaugural expo will take place on Saturday, November 14, 2009 at the Southfork Hotel in Plano, Texas. We plan to include around 30 artist tables, some spaces for merchants and vendors, some webcomic-themed panel discussions, and maybe even a contest or two. This event is scheduled to run from 11 am to 6 pm (hours subject to change).

  General admission for DWEX will be $5. Artist tables will be sold for $25 per half-table and $40 per full table. Merchant spaces will sell for $100 and includes two tables and a larger vending area.

  DWEX is the brainchild of Thomas Overbeck and Michael Moreno, two Dallas-area cartoonists who read about how fun and wildly successful the New England Webcomics Weekend was, and wished they could have been part of the action … so they decided to start one of their own. Rounding out the brains behind this operation is Jonathan Caustrita, another Metroplex-based webcomic artist who also has some marketing expertise (and some pretty good connections).

  So there’s that settled, then.

• Speaking of NEWW, Commissioner James Gordon Hastings (veteran of multiple panels as that storied get-together) is doing rather better in his quest to be elected as Cutest Dog (once he’s achieved those lofty heights, he will have to perfect vantage point from which to observe crime so he may crush it).

  Rumor has it that some lady from The Hills has entered her dog in the contest, but unless America wants its crime-busting done by a refugee from an MTV “reality” program, I suggest we all stay on the case and make sure that Gordon achieves that which is rightfully his (besides, what’s a better use for the prize money — to allow Gordon’s loving caretakers to pay for their wedding, or to get blown on bottle service and man-whores in the VIP section of a club that specializes in celebutante sightings?).

• Speaking of Gordon, maybe the next time he gets groomed, he can spare some of his lush, silky hair for use by the less fortuante. A shaving mishap has tragically left Kris Straub (of Starslip and Chainsawsuit fame) goateeless. Fans are encouraged to carry that last photo around with them until Straub’s visage is once again familiar to his adoring multitudes.
• Finally, not a followup, but a bit of news missed by me last week (bad hack webcomics pseduojournalist!): Connecticon’s charity auction to benefit Child’s Play took place again this year, via an ongoing prank war which one may observe from a safe distance. Thanks to Brian Wilson (not that one) for the info.

So many things have happened since I spoke with you last. Let’s hit the highlights, shall we?

The Hugo Awards got awarded last night in Montreal, and two of webcomicdom’s finest were up for (I believe the first ever) award for Best Graphic Story: Phil and Kaja Foglio for Girl Genius (specifically book 8: Agatha Heterodyne and the Chapel of Bones, starting online here), and Howard Tayler for Schlock Mercenary (specifically, The Body Politic story arc, starting online here). The Foglios won, and Fleen congratulates them; unfortunately that means Tayler lost, and we at Fleen extend our sympathies along with the comfort that at least he lost to some wonderful people with terrific work.

• New England Webcomics Weekend (definitely returning to *hampton, MA in 2010) appears to have spawned a movement: the Dallas area will be home to a webcomickers gathering on Saturday, 14 November. The Dallas Webcomics Expo has a site up, but I’m not sure who’s organizing; a request for information has been sent, and all will be shared at the soonest of times.
• Have you seen this? Wonderella bobblehead on pre-order! The only thing this needs is a voice chip that says Rim me, Sasquatch and you have the perfect desktop accessory or stocking stuffer for children of all ages!¹
• Finally, Commissioner James Gordon needs your help. See, if he’s found to be the cutest dog (and look how cute he is!) in I dunno, America or the internet or whatever, his parents (Chris Hastings and Carly Monardo) will be able to defray the costs of their wedding by a considerable amount … and, I’m told, throw a hell of a party for all of you. So vote already, so he can get back to the important work of fighting crimes.

  PS: for those wondering my own dog is not in the contest, it’s because large dogs never win these things, even though Grace is the cutest dog in the world. Yes she is! Yes she is!.

_______________
¹ Do not actually give this to a child; you will scar them for life.

I think that Chris Onstad may be on his way to topping The Great Outdoor Fight. From the improbable beginning of Todd asking for $6 million from Ray, progressing through the introduction of Ray’s sainted mother to the merest hints of what the GOF might be, there was no reason to suspect how off-the-rails brilliant the story was going to get.

Even once we arrived at The Acres and had seen some of the greatest single lines in the history of Achewood (including “Attention Workers …”, “Thomas Edison … ” and “no one said …” in the same strip, followed quickly by “Frederick H. Coca-Cola … ” a scant two strips later), I don’t think any of us anticipated how momentous and game-changing this story arc would become.

Then Ray tore a guy’s face off.

Next thing we know, it’s despair, exhiliration, friendship, found fathers, and the very Acres in flames. Our expectations of Achewood would never be the same, and even stories that would have been rightly deemed classics prior seemed slightly wan by comparison.

But now — a seemingly typical exchange for Achewood Court (Ray and Mr Bear team up to produce Williams-Sonoma catalogoue porn) has already been forgotten as the prime instigator after only a few strips (Ray’s an inveterate over-editor), leading to a contest whose ridiculousness is only hinted at (really, who would have been surprised if the storyline just petered out after that text message?), while for-the-ages lines get tossed around with ease (there are at least three on this page and as God is my witness I will find a way to work Contestants will compete as identical elephants into casual conversation some day).

But even as the story careens wildly, straining at the limits of Achewoodian logic (is this the real Chuck Williams? The silhouettes say “human”, but he doesn’t seem to have any problem fitting into an elephant suit sized for a cat or bear, or appearing in front of an audience of cat lesbians), it still remains just on this side of the boundary line between What We Have Come To Expect and Something Entirely New.

Then Roast Beef went and got his palm read, received a death sentence and next thing we know frickin’ Cartilage Head — Cartilage Head!! — is all up in the story.

We know Ray has proved himself a coward who would desert a dying man. We thought that he had been redeemed not six months later on Crandall’s Acres. Now his accuser is back and oh, look — Beef appears to be a dying man, what with the Lash of Thanatos and all. A’course, dyin’ ain’t nothing new for Beef (or Ray, for that matter), but still — when you got it on good authority that death has just grabbed its car keys off the table by the door, you pay attention.

• In other news, there is nothing. Nothing matches this. Deal.