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The Ancient Greeks Called It Hubris

Hubris, /ˈhjuːbrɪs/, is defined by Wikipedia¹ as a personality quality of extreme or foolish pride or dangerous overconfidence, often in combination with (or synonymous with) arrogance. It is not a thing you want, and the wise will strive to avoid it, especially if they are aware of their prior challenges, thus avoiding an ironic fate.

Ryan North, I expected better of you.

In case you didn’t follow that link, the alt-text reads, and I quote, i know i’m playing with fire by making fun of holes. i know i’ve been burned before, and publicly too. however, i defy all holes. no hole can ever stop me² which just, what are you doing tempting ironic fate like this Ryan North I must now scream in frustration at something entirely avoidable. I realize it is nearly six years since the terms Ryan North and hole became inextricably linked, but that is not nearly enough time to declare Jubilee³ and be free from the burden, the debt, the eternal quantum entanglement to and with holes4.

Even more disturbing was the annotation below the comic, which reads and again I quote: April 21st, 2021: This weekend I dug a hole and found the experience very satisfying! You can see the results of your work instantly (slightly larger hole).

Ryan, stop taunting the holes.

Look, Ryan, we are (I flatter myself) friends, and I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to be around for the launch of your middle grade OGN with Derek Charm (art) and Wes Abbott (letters), The Mystery Of The Meanest Teacher: A Johnny Constantine Graphic Novel, due in stores everywhere on 29 June. I want to see your virtual book tour talk with Heather Einhorn and Adam Staffaroni, the creators of The Curie Society (from MIT Press — yes, that MIT) on 3 May.

But these things cannot be guaranteed if you continue to tempt ironic fate. Holes can be anywhere, striking without warning. They can swallow trucks, garbage and otherwise, living rooms, entire homes, dental practices, human beings, and dogs. Sometimes they disrupt major thoroughfares, and sometimes they are on fire. The terrifying thing? All of those holes struck in the past three and a half weeks.

We haven’t even mentioned the most dangerous hole of all, which has led to Hell for more than half a century.

Please, Ryan, be humble about holes. Don’t attract their attention or their ire. They could be lurking anywhere, waiting to take their shot at you. We can’t lose you Ryan, not to a hole. Thank you for your attention in this matter, and please consider inventing a kind of quick-deployable personal dirigible to be carried on your person at all times.


Spam of the day:

Check out these teen sluts with eager holes to please

DO NOT LISTEN TO THE SPAMMERS, RYAN. STAY AWAY FROM THE HOLES.

_______________
¹ I never thought I would use those words.

² Spelling original. Apparently, the first stage in ironic fate is being possessed by e e cummings.

³ Recalling that Hebrew law states that the Jubilee year is concerned with, among other things, the ownership of land (i.e.: the medium in which holes are typically dug), and commandments to let the land lie fallow (i.e.: undisturbed by planting, which is predicated on placing seed in a series of holes).

4 Which in itself suggests an entirely new physics, in that entanglement occurs between particles which may be very small, but can be said to exist. Ryan North is a particularly complex set of particles, but a hole by its nature is the absence of particles. This is possibly a Nobel Prize for whoever can reconcile the maths of this with the Standard Model.

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