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Fake Holiday, Real Slacking Off

Today is the lamest holiday on the Usian calendar, Presidents Day (New Jersey), and Washington’s Birthday (federal). I had work today, but the banks are closed, the mail isn’t delivered, and also I am still super tired from the weekend¹. So not a lot of webcomics sleuthing going on around here, but I bet with the footnotes I can stretch this past 300 words. Betcha.

Spam of the day:

The coronavirus has reached US shores with 6 confirmed cases in the United States. While there is no known cure for this virus right now You could also consider using this… destroying free radicals as if putting an ‘off’ switch to diseases. Debilitating diseases such as diabetes, chronic pain, and even cancer isn’t something you have to ‘put up’ with.

1, see footnote #2 below. 2, fuck all the way off into the sun, and when you get there fuck off some more.

¹ Not from anything fun, either. It was EMS duty weekend, a 24 hour shift that served to illustrate that people always have their cardiac arrests at 3:00am and their strokes at 5:45am², instead of 3:00pm and 5:45pm, respectively. Not a lotta Saturday night sleep for Gary is what I’m saying, and while last night was ordinary, I am still yawning and occasionally slow on the uptake today.

² I should clarify that these were not the same patient. Also, one of them answered the routine question, Any overseas travel in the last three weeks? with My daughter and mother-in-law returned from Chengdu on January 15th, which is the closest I’ve come so far to COVID-19.

That being said, take the approximately 70,000 cases reported so far in China, and divide by a population of approximately 1.43 billion, and you’ve got odds that are somewhere between three white balls + the Powerball and four white balls, and ain’t too many of you reading this that have hit that partial jackpot, I’m guessing.

Here in the US, the odds are even longer: 15 confirmed cases out of 330 million people, you are as likely to get five white balls (but no Powerball) twice, meaning two separate million dollar jackpots. Stop being crappy to the people that live and work in your local Chinatown, please.

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