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Time To Clear The Spam Filters

They’re getting a little clogged, you see. And what with Screamy Orange Grandpa ranting his face off today and declaring Nancy Pelosi no longer the Speaker¹, comics news is mostly pushed to the side (apart from the welcome news of Lynda Barry’s MacArthur Fellowship). So let’s make fun of some spammers!

Spams of the day:

15 Discounts For Veteran Eyes Only

Not a veteran. Next!

Netflix’s The Toys That Made Us offers a deep nostalgic dive into the minds behind history’s most iconic toy franchises, as they discuss the rise (and sometimes fall) of their billion-dollar creations.

Nostalgia is a toxic impulse. Next!

[Are you ready?] Become a millionaire or be a loser

Between the fact that I’m a homeowner in suburban New Jersey and the fact that I’ve been dutifully contributing to a 401(k) for decades, I’m going to have to say you’ve got nothing to offer me. Next!

The Tactic AIR Drone features dual cameras that can be used and viewed simultaneously or independently

I like how you almost managed to work the word tactical in there, in a transparent ploy to appeal to my fragile masculinity. However, my EMT training has taught me to not look tactical, and to keep several large, solid vehicles (or perhaps a building or two) between me and anybody that does look tactical, on account of they’re either engaged in an unfortunate exercise of 2nd Amendment FREEDOM!!! or there to deal with the first guy. Next! referred you to this post: We invite you to our new website for quick SEX DATING

Sorry, I don’t know anybody named sexxxlisa; I did know a friendlyhuggglisa in college, though. Next!

I’m Zlata, living in Ukraine. To be honest, I live in a village and we have no job. That’s why I can do it for a little money: send you a video of sex with an ex-boyfriend (if you don’t put it out there!)

Sorry, Zlata, I think your ex-boyfriend deserves the same expectations of not having the video shared that you’re asking of me. Next!

The largest search engine for airline tickets in Russia.

Check me on this — aside from the very unfortunate 737 Max 8 disasters, isn’t the only commercial airline in the world that regularly crashes Aeroflot? Not really interested in taking my chances. Next!

Every Holiday we have Tennis camps for juniors. Tennis Center is located in a gated comunity Sosua Ocean Village

Why is this giving me a Jeffrey Epstein private-island vibe? Please go away.

Push the “Download Now” button to download Battery EEPROM Works crack keygen for windows. It will just take a few seconds. ?????°?‡?°?‚?? EMS SQL Backup for SQL Server ???µ?????????‹?? ???»???‡ ?? ????????

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

¹ Shit, if I knew that was all it took, I woulda done so months ago in favor of AOC.

Re: the tennis camp thing. My wife plays a lot of tennis and I have some knowledge of youth tennis development. There’s lots of these around, especially in Florida and Arizona. It’s basically a place where, if you have a kid who’s good at tennis and you have a lot of money, you send your kid to find out if they can be GREAT at tennis (as in, going professional). Lots of pro tennis players have been through them and yea, they tend to be in gated communities or some other kind of secured location. Actually more for the kids’ protection.

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