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Goddammit, This Is Killing Me

You may have noticed in the past week-ten days that Zach Weinersmith has been slowly but surely working up anticipation for a major new project, to be announced today. He’s said that he’s very excited, that it’s something distinct from past projects, and that it’s a collaboration with his wife, Dr Kelly Weinersmith, professional parasite wrangler. I’ve been waiting all day to tell you about it.

Sorry everyone. We’re having to delay the Big Thing due to technical difficulties. More info shortly. Hopefully tomorrow.

Dammit! You don’t know how frustrating this is, because I know what Secret Project X-37¹ is. So courtesy of my pledge to respect a publication embargo, please accept this spoiler-free discussion of what’s likely to be the second and third-most (respectively) significant project that Zach and Kelly (respectively) have produced to date².

Zach asked me for feedback on ________ some months back, so I’ve seen the full ____ of _____ and can tell you it’s ambitious, authoritative, intriguing, and _____ _____ ______ in a way that makes the Weinersmiths the natural heirs to _______. Really, I had very few comments other than This was done really well and I always wondered about this and Oh glob this is terrifying is this really going to happen please let sweet death take me before it comes to pass.

They’ve done a great job, and _________ should be proud to be working with them. Naturally, even with the partnership of _________, there’s a lot to be said for leveraging your existing audience, which is why Zach is pointing you to _______ and the magic of pre-orders. Look at what you get for pre-ordering _____ before ______!

Let me be clear, I want ______ so even though I’ve got an early _______ largely committed to memory, I’m going to be spending money and contributing to the pre-order totals so that I — and all of you as well — can see _____ as we work together for a better future and cool free stuff.

________ is available for pre-order at _______, with a pre-release price of US$_____, and release date of _______. In the meantime, be sure to check out ____________ for more information.

Weinersmiths thank you for your patience. We at Fleen wish the Weinersmiths well on their new event, product, and/or service. All kidding aside, when you hear what they’ve put together, you’re gonna love it.

Spam of the day:

Have Sex With Someones Wife NOW

Does my wife count? Because she’s out right now but will be back later.

¹ My own invented name.

² I would say it’s surpassed by a doctoral dissertation with respect to Kelly, and by the births of their children with respect to both.

I saw the header image and thought… huh. weird. Are the Weinersmiths writing the Marvin The Martian/Martian Manhunter crossover comic?

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