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New Holidays

Having mentioned this year’s iteration of the Wondermark Calendar last week, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a new twist that David Malki ! is introducing for 2012. Namely, custom holidays.

“Custom” might actually be too strong a word; it’s not like every purchaser is going to get their own combination of unique holidays on the calendar cards. But he is soliciting for suggestions of new holidays to be enshrined for the next twelvemonth:

[Suggested holidays] should:

  • Be short
  • Be funny
  • Include a brief explanation that I’ll archive here on the site for people to consult throughout the year.


January 5, Poop-on-Cats-Day. This is when everybody gets back at their cats by holding them down and pooping on them. Traditionally followed by January 6, Wash-Your-Cats-Day, and January 7, Hospital Day.

Suggestions from the field include, as of this writing,

July 20: The Feast of St. Owens. In honour of Richard Owens, coiner of the term ‘Dinosaur’, every young child is encouraged to carry a small replica of a Dinosaur with them at all times. The feast is concluded in the traditional manner of Owens himself –- scooping out your enemy’s spine and keeping it in a jar in your office.

June 12: Death by Tentacles Day. In memoriam of all the intrepid sailors, airship captains, sailboats and Japanese anime girls viciously violated and slain by oversized octupi, mutant cuttlefish and alien cephalopod-like creatures.

Also, nice try person who suggested 30 July as Defenestration Day, but if you’re going to use it to commemorate the date of the First Defenestration of Prague¹, what about the Second Defenestration of Prague², which took place on 23 May? Or even the One-and-a-Halfth on 24 September³? I suggest a compromise, equidistant between the Spring and Autumn Defenestrations, which would be 24 July; this has the added bonus of likely falling during San Diego Comic Con most years, allowing a mechanism to thin the crowds a bit for at least one day.

¹ 1419 CE, precipitating the Hussite Wars.

² 1618 CE, precipitating the Thirty Years’ War.

³ 1483 CE, not precipitating any particular war.

Well, obviously this is a job for Robotmas! The most 42nd Day of the Year!

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