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This Have Been A Public Service Ernouncemint

I'm guessing the next iteration of this map is gonna feature a nice skull-and-crossbones in the upper left corner of the country.

For those of you that haven’t been following what may be the most significant story out of PAX, let me sum it up in two words:

“Swine Flu”.

Confirmed cases of H1N1 among attendees, with reports trickling in from around the country, are being tracked at Penny Arcade. From a PR standpoint, having to say Our event has spread disease to the four corners of the continent is never high on the “to do” list, but kudos to the PA folks for providing information on flights & trains taken by those known to have been afflicted. That they take the effort to do so while they themselves (along with fellow cartoonists) are afflicted is laudable.

Maybe they’ll rename it “Gamer Flu”. Maybe Jack Thompson will take it as a sign of heavenly retribution on degenerate murder-simulator-loving sociopaths. Maybe there will be missing/late/guest strips across webcomicdom.

While “Patient Zero” is yet to be identified, please enjoy some pertinent information from the King County (Washington) Department of Public Health and some more from the CDC. Putting so many people together all weekend, perhaps contagion is inevitable but I can’t say it enough — cover your coughs and sneezes with your upper arm/shoulder and wash your damn hands.

And because — judging from every time I use a public restroom — nobody knows how to wash their damn hands, here’s the deal:

  1. Turn the water on as hot as you can stand it
  2. Wet your hands thoroughly
  3. Get more soap than you think you need and lather up
  4. Scrub aggressively — get between fingers, underneath the nails, and along the nail beds
  5. Keep this going at least as long as it takes you to hum the alphabet song; alternately, you may use the chorus to Re Your Brains, the intro to Layla, or you may be a little teapot twice … just keep going for at least 20 – 25 seconds (and longer is better, assuming you don’t get into OCD territory)
  6. Rinse thoroughly with hot water
  7. Dry

Next one of you bozos I catch turning on the water, waving your fingertips near the stream, then leaving? We’re going to have words

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¹ The words will be on what remains of the label on a broken beer bottle.

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