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Best Of Fleen: Cake Or Death?

Editor’s note: Still with the lack of regular access? Yep. But let’s dip the ladle of recollection into the bucket of history once again, as a young Gary first meets Chris Hastings and they talk of The Great Outdoor Fight.

So I was talking with a guy at the Andy Bell opening because he was wearing a Great Outdoor Fight shirt. “Nice shirt,” I said. “Thanks,” he replied, “What do you think is going to happen next?”

In truth, I told him, I had no idea. Everything we know, the entire storied legend of the Great Outdoor Fight, has been revealed in little pieces since Mrs Smuckles let slip a choice tidbit over Rib-eye and Chablis less than two months ago. And it’s always dangerous to predict what Chris Onstad is thinking; the only prediction I would make is that he would take the story in a completely unexpected direction. Ergo: The Jeeps. Like every other aspect of the Great Outdoor Fight (too big a fight to be constrained by acronym or abbreviation), this is new to us, but not to Roast Beef.

Ray, in his ignorance, is more than willing to face The Jeeps … or is that the real reason at all? Does he not appreciate the dangers that they face? Hard to believe, since Beef has filled him in; could he possibly be sincere in his defiant bellow:

Man, fuck those guys! The hell they’re gonna say how this Fight is won! BRING ON THE JEEPS, GOD DAMN YOU!

Ray, of all people, is trying to rebel against the system instead of gaming it or weaseling for advantage. He’s taking something like a principled stand here, maybe only because he doesn’t realize the import of The Jeeps. Beef, of all people, might be pushed by sheer terror to putting a major beatdown on Ray rather than face The Jeeps (and to save Ray’s life, but will he recognize that?). Or, given that it’s Achewood and death is malleable (especially where Beef is concerned), and the fact that keys are being passed around, maybe we see two more grave markers southeast of the Acres.

“Why should the Fight get to say how the Fight is won or lost! Become the ruling body, dude!” is no less impressive than “Give me Liberty or give me Death!” “Beat your best friend since small times ’til he can’t crawl, see or cry … or Death” doesn’t have quite the same ring, but it looks like Hobson had nothing on Beef’s Choice.

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