I’ve Been Waiting To To Run This Forever
Ladies and Gentlemen, ________ _____ Kellett, daughter of Dave Kellett and Gloria Calderón Kellett. About that name:
I can already imagine a few of you will be e-mailing me to ask what her name is, so allow me to give you my take on that. Both my wife and I have chosen pretty public lives, and in general we’re happy to share a great deal with the world. But I want to give my children the chance to choose the path best suited to them … whether it be a public life or a private life or somewhere in the middle. So, while I have no qualms about posting a few cute, early baby pics — as she’ll look markedly different in a few months, anyway — I want to give her the gift of anonymity to become her own person in life. I know you’ll understand the value of that.
We at Fleen respect the decision of ________’s parents, but using our awesome investigatory skillz we can exclusively reveal that the little tyke has eight syllables in her full name — on those rare occasions when her parents are mad at her and have to escalate to the full name, eight syllables will be awesome. As an “eighter” myself, I can tell you that by the time your parents have spit the whole thing out, they’ve forgotten why they were mad at you!
This means that we’re looking at the first-ever Guest Week at Sheldon next week; Dave’s a pro and managed to put together a great, 13 day story to run around ________’ birth, but let’s give the guy some time to get caught up and recharge.
Well wishes, monetary gifts, and posters of Shakira for the happy family may be sent via Fleen.
Gary, I know what all eight of your syllables are! But now that I’ve said that, I’ve forgotten what I was going to do with that knowledge.
By Jim on 04.17.08 9:44 am
Hey, how come _I_ haven’t gotten a write-up for propagating the species? :) Jonah Christopher Parkhill (a mere seven syllables. Damn!) was born on March 28 (and Scene Language returned on April 7, because apparently I hate myself.)
By coreymarie on 04.17.08 10:16 am
My kid’s name has zero syllables. =(
I should have never named him “!”.
By Kris Straub on 04.17.08 12:01 pm
*gasp*
You’re David Malki !’s father?
By Gary Tyrrell on 04.17.08 12:18 pm
No, no — Malki ! is the father. I’m the mom.
By Kris Straub on 04.17.08 12:45 pm
the weird part is it looks like a jinxlet
By malki ! on 04.17.08 11:28 pm
This is an official rumor that Principal Tyrrell’s full first name is “Garibaldi”.
By Jeff Lowrey on 04.18.08 7:19 am
The above comments are owned by whoever posted them. The staff of Fleen are not responsible for them in any way.