Followups:

• The latest in spam-killing technology is now on deck, so be aware that you’ll have to jump through one extra hoop to post comments., but we’ll hopefully avoid problems.
• The auction is now up to $31. Good job, people.

Mini Fleen Book Corner: The Case of Mars is a ridiculous amount of fun, ties up the last four years of Wigu continuity, sets up Jeff Rowland for at least the next four years, spares Hugo a terrible fate, features the word “panspermia“, and has an environmental message both more fun and more satisfying than Al Gore’s wettest of dreams. All it needs is a good beat and you could dance to it.

And lastly, the best press release we’ve received all year sits behind the cut. Congratulations to Jason Siebels for three years of Anywhere But Here, and good luck with that baguette.

For Immediate Release:
Webcomic Creator Promises to commit ritual suicide for the shame he has brought to his family.
Fargo, ND

In a solemn event surrounded by his wife and newborn child, Jason Siebels, creator of the mediocre webcomic Anywhere but Here issued his sincerest apologies to the internet.

“I write boring shit.” He said, sullen eyed staring out at a cold December morning. “What’s worse, I have written boring and unimaginative shit for THREE FUCKING YEARS NOW. I realize that, and I have no excuse for it.”

“I cannot take back what I have done. Moreover, even though I have tried to stop, I keep updating the series. Clearly, I have some sort of mental issues. I have tried to seek help, but people keep encouraging me. Hell, I was able to quit for two months, but one day…somehow…a brush got back in my hand…and…” His voice trembled as he steped away from the podium.

Teary eyed, his wife nodded. “It’s terrible,� she said gravely, “even Eric Burns has said nice things about the series.� She stopped for a moment and wiped her eyes. “I know he was just being kind, but I wish they would stop encouraging him. He has a problem and the drugs aren’t helping any.�

Siebels embraced his wife briefly, and returned to the microphone. “I have left a black mark of shame upon my family name that no amount reconciliation can ever hope to cleanse. Therefore, I feel I have no choice but to do the honorable thing by committing seppuku on December 7th, 2007, the third anniversary of the first sad attempt at cartooning I ever shared with the public.â€?

“I realize this will not erase the pain that my completely forgettable attempt at humor has caused people, but I hope this act can give my wife and child some sense of comfort by returning honor to my family.”

“It’s certainly tragic,” notes literary critic Mane Jansmield “that so few authors refuse to take responsibility for their mediocrity. One can only hope that Dan Brown or Mitch Albom hear of this and follow this brave man’s example.”

When questioned further, Siebels noted that he didn’t actually own a sword to fall upon. However he was pretty certain he had a week old baguette that was nearly as hard as tempered steel. When questioned further, he noted that while he may not be able to actually CUT himself with the baguette, he could conceivably bludgeon himself, hopefully to the point of irreversible brain damage, and thus stop his obsessive compulsion to flood the internet with crap.