Fleen: The Awkward Christmas Dinner Of Our Obligation To Existence

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For my last interview of 2006, I wanted to do something really special. So I picked a webcomic creator entirely at random, and AMBUSHED them.

Unfortunately, I picked Byron Hussie of Byrobot, and … well… you’ll have to decide for yourself who ambushed whom.

Fleen: What makes you both a Byron and a Robot?

Byron: Let me answer this question by saying I am glad you asked me this question. It is the sort of question a man might be ask and, as I am the man of Byrobot.net, I am the most qualified to answer it.Fleen: What is that smell?

BH: I’ve been been cooking a large meal in preparation for our interview. The smell you are probably referring to is cabbage. That is one of the courses of the meal. The main course is beef. There may be mustard and there may not. I have not yet decided.

Fleen: Why do you fill your comics with the most blatant, obvious, and slightly offensive Christian imagery?

BH: ~~I don’t, but I should. Christians are basically retarded. To Christians: Why do you believe in fake shit? Please reply to byrobot@gmail.com because I am genuinely curious.~~ This was troll-baiting and I fell for it.
Fleen: Can I get fries with that?

BH: I’m sorry but I have only prepared beef and cabbage. French fries are usually prepared at fast food restaurants so if you still have a craving, you should go to one after our interview is done. I would not be offended by this.

Fleen: A famous comedian was once asked “Is the Co-education of Animus and Anima Wholly Desirable?” How would you respond to the same question?

BH: I don’t think James Joyce is very funny.

Fleen: Which one of the 250 comics you’ve done under byrobot.net do you consider the worst?

BH: It is a tie between Bumble Bear and Wolfula Vs. Dr. Gonzo Frankenfunk

Fleen: What do you consider to be the defining habits of amateur cartoonists?

BH:Most of the amateur cartoonists I know are childish diletantes lacking in staying power and doubting their own abilities. They are covetous of fame but lack the work ethic to actually achieve it. They flit from one project to the next like braindamaged moths in a candle factory, sulking and sniping at those more successful than they. In other words, the three defining habits of successful amateur cartoonists (other than talent) would have to be: sticktooitiveness, sticktooitiveness and sticktooitiveness (sic???). This has all been a roundabout way of saying that Mike Firman needs to make more Moe.

Fleen: How long is too long to spend as an undergraduate?

BH: As James Joyce once said: “anama anamaba anamabapa.” What a hilarious guy.

Fleen: Are the Party Dudes based on real-life experiences?

BH: My idea of a good party? Eating an entire rotiserree chicken by myself.

Fleen: Can you settle a dispute over cheese ninjas?

BH: I’ve never in my life settled a single dispute over cheese, let alone cheese ninjas, which I’m pretty sure don’t exist. I have depicted cheese related disputes, but you’ll note that none were actually settled, per se.

Fleen: Zoophilia, Zoophoria, Zooropa, or Zootopia?

BH: Since this isn’t really an actual question, I’m going to let Tynic say a few words.

“As the more important half of Byrobot Dot Net, I think it is entirely appropriate that I remain in the background, ignored and unacknowledged.”

I’ve gotta say, it’s hard to respect someone who thinks I’m “Basically retarded” without having even met me.

Man! This guy sure think he’s hilarious!

Apparently, there was an edited version of these answers that was not actually provided to me.

If and when it shows up, I will graciously amend what is here.

But this is what I got.

And David C. Simon – don’t hate on Byron for making jokes about things that you take seriously. I’m sure there’s some tone of voice that you have missed – becuase this is text.

I’m just saying!

It is a scientific fact that this interviewee believes he is hilarious.

Prove me wrong, Science.

Paul –
Everyone who writes or draws a webcomic believes that they are hilarious.

Or culturally significant.

That includes YOU.

QED.

Hey, I’ve got no problem with people making jokes – I’ve enjoyed a lot of what both The Simpsons and South Park have to say about Christianity because they often make insightful points. But that’s not what Byron did.

Curiously, people often criticise Christians for being bigoted, judgmental and convinced of their own self-righteousness. Okay, this is often a fair point, but it’s worth observing that the argument cuts both ways :)

Thank you, Jeff “Science” Lowrey, for proving me wrong.

Awesome.

seriously though,
Christians have too many Y chromosmes. Way to fail at being born!

Jesus Christ is not real.

I am talking to you, David C. Simon, you worthless piece of shit!

Anyway, Byrobot.com is pretty cool.

Edited.

Also, it wasn’t troll-baiting. I asked the question only because I think I’m _hi_lar_iiii_ous.

Better and better! This thread is going places.

david: i noticed you did not answer the original poster’s question re “why do you believe fake shit”

Both sides of this interview are completely moronic.

I think we can all agree that Michael Firman is a poo face.

“david: i noticed you did not answer the original posterâ€™s question re â€œwhy do you believe fake shitâ€?”

Because it’s not “fake shit”, so there’s no question to answer :)

Discourse!

You said it. I think we’re all going to come away understanding each other a little better.

Isn’t that what webcomics are all about?

Haha but seriously guys, thanks for being huge fans!

1 – â€œdavid: I noticed you did not answer the original posterâ€™s question re â€œwhy do you believe fake shitâ€?â€?

2 – “Because itâ€™s not â€œfake shitâ€?, so thereâ€™s no question to answer”

Isn’t this akin to saying that something is impossible to do because it can’t be done?

1 – “I can’t do that!”
2 – “Why not?”
1 – “Because it can’t be done!”

You haven’t provided any real support for your answer, aside from declaring that it “isn’t fake shit”.

MERRY CHRISTMAS WEBCOMICS!

“Isnâ€™t this akin to saying that something is impossible to do because it canâ€™t be done?”

No, my point is that the question was based on a false premise, and was unanswerable. “Why do you believe fake stuff” is much like asking “When will you stop beating your wife”. I don’t think it *is* fake stuff, I therefore cannot answer the question as he has phrased it.

Furthermore, nothing that he has said convinces me that he’s really interested in listening or learning anyway.

But to sum up: I believe because I’ve examined the evidence, looked long and hard at the eye-witness testimonies (which I continue to study in increasing detail), compared it to what I’ve observed in the world, and considered the alternatives. I’m convinced.

I think we all need to sit down and settle this God thing once and for all.

Who’s with me?

I hope everybody has a happy Jesus Day!

I think we all need to sit down and settle this God thing once and for all.

Whoâ€™s with me?

I’ll bring the beer. Jesus-beer.

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