We are approaching a dozen respondents to our recent call for contributors; there have been some questions about the gig, so we’ll address those here, in no particular order.

1. Did you get my submission? ‘Cause you haven’t written back yet.
   Yes, we did; we’re still going through and deciding which we like best. We’ll be contacting some of you for a second round of submissions.
2. Wait, “some of you”? You hate me, don’t you? I suck.
   No, no, nothing like that. It’s just that some of you have a style that’s a bit more in line with what we’re looking for, and some of you sound a little bit like you’re submitting an essay in English class. Part of what we’re looking for are writers that have their own voices and don’t sound 95% similar to the other applicants.
3. When’s the deadline?
   Well, let’s say that Fleen is on an open-admission plan. If you don’t think you have the time to commit now, but find you have the time in the future, feel free to drop us a line and we’ll consider you (I’m talking to you, Mr Math Guy). For this round of submissions, let’s say that getting something to us by the weekend would be good.
4. You said “compensation”. What’s up with that?
   Actually, what we said was, “The compensation is so small that you may not even notice it is there.” It involves a cut of the ad revenue (my share from inception to date comes to about US$0.20) and you get your beer bought for you when in the physical presence of the publisher, which is helped by a proximity to Manhattan (for me, fairly regular; for Jeff, not so much). There’s also the intangible benefits you get from sharing your opinion with the world, and occasionally annoying William G.
5. I’m thinking of submitting samples. What would make my writing better?
   Best damn question we’ve gotten! First of all, read through and make sure that what you’ve written is logically and grammatically solid. Check for spelling. I have poked some fun at Eric Burns for his … verbosity, but I can count on one hand the number of typos that he’s made in the past 100,000 words.

   We’re a blog, so show us that you can locate links that support your ideas, and include those in the body. Did we mention spelling? Check again. And so far, the front-running topics are Penny Arcade, Questionable Content, and PvP; you might want to address something a bit further afield so we can see your range. Also, that 15-paragraph opus looks nice, but remember the goal is to convince us that you can write something five days a week. Two to three hundred tight words a day will thrill us.

6. Can I be an asshole? Or write about what sucks and say that it sucks?
   Sure. We’re here to talk about the good and the bad in webcomics, but we’ve attracted something resembling a reputation for having well-written and well-thought-out stuff here, and don’t want to lose that just because you got a mad-on for the world. If you can channel Ambrose Bierce or Dorothy Parker, great. If the best you can do is THIS SUXXORS [name of creator] IS A FAG, don’t bother.
7. Can we work from home?
   You sure as hell aren’t going to be working from my home.
8. Seriously, you hated my very personal, soul-baring essay, didn’t you? I suck.
   Yeah, you suck. Everybody else is okay.
9. Tuesday Crimson sounds hot. Can I date her?
   You suck, even more than that last guy.