Fleen: The Awkward Christmas Dinner Of Our Obligation To Existence » Fleen Book Corner: Sweet Bro And Hella Jeff

Publisher’s note: Usual Fleen scribe Gary Tyrrell was found curled in a small fetal ball, sobbing; he is now resting comfortably in hospital. The following was found scribbled on various pieces of paper near him, along with a Subway employee’s apron and hat.

Monday 28 January 8:03pm
Unexpected package from TopatoCo in the mail; they’ve sent me a review copy of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff out of the blue. Man, everybody at TopatoCo rocks. The aroma of chemical pizza-analogue is a bit overwhelming — I think the scratch-n-sniff panels on the back cover spent the last two days scratching against the inside of the envelope. I’m sure it’s safe for human exposure in any concentration.

The enclosed “paperclop” is blue and cheery; the coin taped to the inside front cover features Hella Jeff. The lenticular bookmark of Sweet Bro tumbling down a staircase forever brings to mind Orwell’s description of the future. The entire package is rife with Dadaist power.

Tuesday 29 January 7:34am
Slept poorly; read SBaHJ up to the “centaurfold”, then read Twitter. Falling asleep in front of Twitter and waking again, trying to make sense of the contextless tweets is surprisingly like reading SBaHJ — disjointed, non-sequitur, vaguely terrifying. Visions all night of blobby, misshapen man-children in single color outfits. Also: fairly certain I set the book aside before picking up my phone to read Twitter, but woke to find the book on my chest and the meter-long ribbon bookmark wrapped firmly around my throat. Odd.

Tuesday 29 January 1:28pm
Since starting SBaHJ I have become acutely aware of how many Subway restaurants are between the train station and work; the number in the vicinity of office seems greater than before. The aroma makes me want to stick my head in a vent and absorb it all.

Tuesday 29 January 11:52pm
Bro I know for a FACT that I put my glass down on the coaster how did did it end up on the bookcover PRECISELY on the pre-printed water ring that is wierd bro?

Wesday 30 Janyury 6:66aM
book open to front why is htere a picture of KCGreen smiling at me why bro.

Wednesday 30 January 1:03pm
Moment of clarity, slipping away. Why am I standing in Subway with a fully-completed employment application and “coubon”? Why does the manager look like Geromy? Why is he handing me a completed W-4 form?

Thursday 31 January 3:47am
The book is truth

turdsdya whta tiem
The book can see me it can hear my thoughts be quiet be quiet be QUIET stop thinking Shhh shhh shhh dude what is in those nacho stickers so many sweet Bros so many Jeffs i can taset infininitnityt

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Publisher’s note: Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff is available from TopatoCo, while supplies last. Doctors indicate that Gary is detoxing nicely, and should be back to blogging with only mild perceptual impairments shortly. Rumors that the DEA is investigating SBaHJ for making readers “high as balls” could not be confirmed at press time.

Fleen Book Corner: Sweet Bro And Hella Jeff

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