Since the sad death of Ryan North from sploding a few short weeks ago, we at Fleen have been wondering when the man-mountainous will once contained within his massive frame would force itself back into the world of the living¹. Actually, I suspect that North could have done so anytime he wished, but what vessel could contain his mighty essence?
Answer: nothing less than a 3D-printed likeness of pre-exploded Ryan North.
Although a cover story has been constructed wherein Ryan North never exploded and he is merely getting scanned to create a model of himself and then explode that, we at Fleen have discovered that North actually left behind a mathematical representation of his physical self which scientists from the future are now refining until it is sufficiently granular as to be indistinguishable from the original Ryan North.
Sure, they will 3D-print a spare likeness of Ryan North’s head and subject it to explosions as part of the subterfuge, but secretly they are making an entire, new Ryan North. When his life-force enters into the doppelgänger (like unto Galatea or the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves), it will become Ryan North, and possibly reach back in time to before any splosions such that it always was Ryan North².
In the meantime, they’ll be releasing the model specs just in case you want to make your own Ryan North and honestly, who wouldn’t?
² Likewise, this bending of time explains how new work continues to appear under Ryan North’s name — while a portion of it is surely from a buffer left behind at the time of his death, the majority was called into existence on the internet by force of disembodied will directly on the domain of pure, abstract information. No need to even telekinetically manipulate a keyboard and type!
Reports from Toronto also indicate that the late Ryan North’s dog, Noam Chompsky, has been seen traveling to the dog park and seemingly playing and reacting to commands, although no person has been seen to accompany him. Additionally, other dogs have been observed staring at a space slightly less than 2 meters above and to the side of Chompsky, as well as wagging at, sniffing, and begging scritches from the empty space. One small child was also noted as interacting with the air near Chompsky, eventually drawing a picture of the “nice, funny giant” that spoke to her.