Have I mentioned how very, very much I hate the fact that the comic book industry allows itself one (1) distributor, and they suck in every conceivable way there is to suck? Trick question, as I’ve been on about Diamond more times than I can count, and they continue to suck, particularly in holding onto books for weeks after they’re supposed to be out, which is why I’m only now getting around to The Dire Days Of Willowweep Manor by Shaenon Garrity (Narbonic, Skin Horse, etc) on words and Christopher Baldwin (Little Dee, Spacetrawler, etc) on pictures.

If you have read this page to any appreciable degree, you already know what I’m going to say just based on those two names. For everybody else, read on and spoilers ahoy.

Here’s what I love about Garrity (Tiki Queen of the Greater Bay Area and Nexus Of All Webcomics Realities): as good as she is drawing her own stuff or with a writer, I think she’s even better as a pure writer of comics. She has a knack of writing to the strengths of her collaborators, and with Baldwin on board, that means deliciously over the top facial expressions and physical overreactions.

Here’s what I love about Baldwin: no matter how silly or serious the premise, he knows how to compose a panel for maximum effect. Need a moment’s pause to build up the joke? Or perhaps to make the incipient horror land three millimeters closer to the exact center of your brain? He’s there. Need a reaction panel or an environment-establishing shot that’s practically a splash page? Nobody better.

So take a topic that’s rich with visual possibility and which rewards over-the-top genre savvy like whoa, and you’ve got a winner. The genre, in this case, is Gothic Romance novels. Brooding manor lords, dank tarns, empty halls echoing footsteps and secrets, taciturn housekeepers, storms that steal your breath and stop your heart? Haley knows, loves, lives, and breathes them all. It’s all she wants, to be swept up into a grand narrative that involves both heights and wuthering.

She, uh forgot about the lack of indoor plumbing. And how the feckless youngest brother would, in real circumstances, get everybody killed.

All of that is furthest from her mind, though, when she happens to see what appears to be a stranger drowning in the river, and finds herself pulled through the crack between the worlds that she didn’t know to look for. Turns out our universes, plural, are kept apart by kludges and pert-near indentured labor, and these jury-rigged maintenance microworlds have themes. And our world is about to be crashed into and destroyed by a far worse one if she can’t get the gears of reality working again.

Gears which are found in a pocket dimension filled with every cliche, every trope, every element of Gothic Romance. She’d be having the time of her life if everything weren’t trying to kill her (and, by extension, everybody back here on Earth). Fortunately, she knows how to make the rules of gothic romance work for her (declaring at one point she’s not a maiden — a weak, helpless, an agencyless plot point — but a heroine). She knows the rules of how the stories work¹, and she’s going to save everybody at Willowweep Manor and multiple worlds with that knowledge.

She’s also going to watch a taciturn housekeeper punch a bear in the face because it’s Garrity writing. And it’s so rad for us to watch happen because it’s Baldwin drawing.

The story kicks into gear almost immediately, and careens swiftly from near-disaster to damn near-disaster with barely a pause. The threat is consistent within the rules of the story, the action scenes clean and easy to follow, and the gags land lightly on tip-toe, delivering their laugh-chuckles with precisely the right amount of gravity.

Get The Dire Days Of Willowweep Manor (available at book and comic stores everywhere, hopefully) for the teen-and-up in your life, but especially for those that have fallen into a Gothic Romance hole and needs to be reminded that stuffy, over-serious stories can be silly, too.

Spam of the day:

Animations In 3 Clicks With The World’s Easiest Full-Auto Video Animation Software!

See, I know animators, and what you’re describing is not something that will automatically create animation because those don’t exist. You’re describing something that produces limited motion like unto the old Under Construction motion images on early webpages, and you intend for them to drive marketing on this site.

For these and surely myriad other crimes, you are my nemesis.

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¹ For example, the villain, in his moment of triumph, must ascend to the highest point available, the better to gloat on the precipice.