Fleen: The Awkward Christmas Dinner Of Our Obligation To Existence

People on the internet: What business brought you here? I stayed up all night working on a draft of a new book based on the Structured Query Language for databases! That’s because, some days, I take an envelope out of the box and I PUSH IT. I notice you are leaving! Could my conversational stylings be partially to blame?? Hah hah, I guess I was being kind of silly! any event in which I was embarrassed is now non-canon. I’ve also retroconned my name to be “Mister Awesome”, by the way!

It occurs to me… Today is a good day I think to talk about DINOSAUR COMICS Your whole family is made out of meat, an allegorical comic and comic allegory Dude! It’s SO GOOD. Holy crap yes! I was like, “Aaaaaahhhh!” “HELLO T-REX” What is the attraction to this structure of humour? I think this is very symbolic for… something! Is it a metaphor? My friend, I am simply asking the questions that need to be asked!

Here is a hypothetical situation: T-REX AS CULTURAL CRITIC: maybe he’s got this weird fetishistic cultural interest in inefficient, repressive institutions. You were raised on fairy tales, where there were no moral grey areas, where good and bad were clear, where there was never any real doubt over which side would win in the end! That’s a pretty crazy theory! Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof! Imagine my dismay at coming to such a realization!

What are you saying that’s original? The thought DID cross my mind! I have surprised even myself! Argh! So frustrated! Well, this has been quite the anagnorisis (a moment of recognition or discovery)! To summarize: Fuuuuck I’m screwed! I’m pooched, man! I’m pooched! Being pooched is akin to being screwed! C’est vraiment incroyable, ça! I must guard against such self-absorption in the future! I GUESS THERE IS A LESSON HERE FOR US ALL!

Why are you so interested in this, anyway? Seriously everyone! How come? However, that will be more than enough excitement for me! Any final comments, T-Rex? T-REX AND HIS WACKY DINOSAUR FRIENDS Five stars! Are you jealous of my mutant dinosaur powers? T-REX WINS! Wooo! I declare: high fives all around! FINALLY: HUGS AND KISSES! Aww! Come’ere you!

Goddamn that is a lot of links.

I will say, additionally, that this is probably the best book cover I’ve ever seen.

it…really is a lot of links.

and also, it really is the best book cover ever. is it a book? or is it meat? YOU WILL NEVER REALLY KNOW.

also failed to mention that dr mcninja and some other comic have joined dayfree press!! :O

You need help Gary. I’d post a link but you might go crazy. :)

Oh goodness me. I can’t… I thought maybe somebody had vomited on your post, but it turned out to just be links, not bile.

Uh…dude. i wondered at the strange colour then i thought ‘surely NO ONE is crazy enough to do what i think that is!’ But turns out they are.

The best link is the one to something other than qwantz.com. And the best part of the page to which it links is “…this book is simply a rehash of material that is presented better in Sybase’s own Performance & Tuning guide.”

Wow, amazing! An entire review comprised of quotes from the comics (with links to the original). IT IS LIKE A WINDOW INTO MY OWN MIND

ALSO YOU ARE NUTTY CRACKERS FOR EVEN ATTEMPTING IT

Also: thanks!

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Ryan North: the only webcomic creator that has written a self-reviewing book.

Is that like a computer program that outputs it’s own source code?

…or was that a conversation on some forum somehere.

Alright: Fess up. Who actually clicked on all the links?

I fail for not realizing that there were ANY links in the article AT ALL.

[…] In no particular order (and with fewer links than yesterday, I promise): […]

Cool stuff, Gary. Keep challenging your readers!

[…] What I have been unable to accomplish in years of pestering, Ryan North managed with a single book. There is no limit to his power, and stay the hell away from my wife, North! I will not lose her to your seductive Canadian ways! […]

[…] We’ve added and lost and regained writers; we inspired people to start their own webcomics-themed blogs; we’ve made some good friends; we got namechecked in Wired by Scott McCloud and I was personally referred to as NUTTY CRACKERS by the nexus of all webcomics reality. By any objective measure, that makes for a pretty damn good year. […]

[…] hack webcomics pseduo-journalist can produce (leavened with occasional actual facts, advocacy, and batshit insanity thrown in for […]

[…] a more difficult HTML-wrangling job than any post I’ve ever done, with the exception of the review of the first Dinosaur Comics book. Let’s just … let’s not do this […]

[…] Happy ten yeariversary to Dinosaur Comics and the nearly-resurrected Ryan North; highlights of the past ten years (from North’s perspective beyond the grave) are here¹, and you can see how far he’s come as an artist by comparing the first strip to today’s. Congratulations for being so awesome at comics Ryan and also for getting better at parties. In your hono[u]r, please enjoy once more this review I wrote of your first Dinosaur Comics book, composed entirely of quotes by T-Rex. […]

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